Last Thursday's sonogram

I went for my one and only sonogram here in Canada. MashAllah the baby looked so big and healthy to me, the technician wouldn't say anything good or bad but watching the baby move it's little mouth and hold it's hand above it's head gave me a feeling that this baby is strong and healthy inshAllah (of course the daily beatings I get in my stomach add to that reassurance).
I wasn't told the sex of the baby, it's up to my doctor, but I doubt she will tell me either. So many people have been told and given the opportunity to know ahead of time, why is it any different for me? Don't I have the right to know? Obviously I'm not going to have an abortion, and at 6 months it's illegal to do in Canada anyway.

Only 3 Months Left

Getting pregnant in Syria, at the time seemed like a good idea, but lack of tools, minimal understanding of Arabic and the constant preasure to keep eating 24/7 really did nothing for me. Now back in Canada I have about 3 months left until my due date ( august 22/08), and I'm not really prepared at all. I've been watching "Birth Stories" everyday and to be honest when I see those women give birth I cringe and am completely frightened for the day I will be the one having a 7 pound baby rip through me. Don't get me wrong though, I want to be a mother, probably more than anything else in this world, I'm just extremely scared. My husband is so opposite of me right now, he's so calm and relaxed, mashAllah. The only thing he has on his mind right now is finances, and how in the world we are going to afford all the things a baby needs. I'm starting to wonder were we just not quite ready for a baby or is this just the normal jitters everyone feels temporairly before a baby comes and changes your life forever?